Inside My Head

There’s no telling what you’ll find

POEMS! Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Filed under: Poems — Deanna C. @ 7:49 pm
Tags: , , , , ,

Three Poems 2 kind of old ones, one newer one. Enjoy.

 

DeCoolz

 

Missing You

 

I check my phone every time

The song changes on my IPod

Wishing desperately that’s it’s really you

But it never is

And I miss you

I miss you more than words can say

 

 

 

When Pinkie Promises Meant Everything

(This is the poem I wrote in like 9th grade that gave me the idea for Spitballs)

 

A light pink bathroom

A secret sanctuary

The smell of day old gym socks

My hand interlocked with yours

Our unbreakable vow

To always be there

Me and You, the unstoppable force

Together as one

United forever

 

 

 

Should Have

 

I should have called

          Even though you told me not to

I should have come over

          Against my mother’s wishes

I should have let you copy my Chemistry lab

          Even though the teacher would have know

 

Maybe then I wouldn’t have found you sitting there

          Alone in strawberry slushy colored snow

Against the oak tree

          Where you carved our names so many years ago

 

Quarters Monday, September 29, 2008

Filed under: Story — Deanna C. @ 2:11 pm
Tags: , , , , ,

 So, this is my not quite as depressing as Spitballs before I start killing people October.

I think I’ll post a happy poem or something tomorrow, but I have a feeling you know I’m not good at happy poems.

Just a Quarter

 

            The smoke from Janice’s cigarettes, the smell of cheese puffs and simmering chicken wings filled the air as the four of them–Stephanie, Janice, and Cindy, three forty year old women who had been best friends since high school, and Stephanie’s twenty year old daughter Ella–began their traditional Saturday card game at Cindy’s house. The older ladies’ husbands and Ella’s boyfriend watched college football in the basement leaving the women to gossip about their lives and the tiny town they lived in.  

            “I found the most amazing looking coin in my cash drawer at work yesterday,” Ella said as she discarded a seven of diamonds.

            “Is it better than the peso you had last time that you were positive was some kind of ancient pirate gold?” Janice laughed tapping the end of her cigarette on the large, yellow, heart-shaped ashtray Cindy’s oldest son had made in art class.

            “This one has an Asian guy on it. So it’s definitely better than the peso.”

            “Let’s see it then,” Cindy said as she laid an Ace, King, and Queen of Hearts on the wooden table.

            Ella took out her coin purse, filled with the exotic treasure she had found mixed with the change from her cash drawer at grocery store. She pulled out three euros, the peso, a ten pence, and finally a coin about the size of a quarter but a slightly different shade of silver.  One side was the portrait of an Asian man in what looked like ancient Chinese clothing, but Ella wasn’t sure. She handed the coin around the table until it reached Cindy.

            “I’ll ask the bartender at work. He moved here from China when he was little, he would know the coins of that area; I’ll give it back to you next week.”

            “Sounds good to me, but don’t lose it.”

            “I wouldn’t do that Ella. I’ll keep it separate from everything else so I don’t spend it on accident.”

           

            A week later the ladies gathered at Stephanie and Ella’s house: nachos cooked in the oven as Cindy entered through the screen door with bags of cheese flavored popcorn and pretzels. She seemed to be avoiding Ella, but it could just have been Ella’s imagination.

             “So Cindy did you find out what kind of coin Ella found?” one of the women asked as Janice lit a cigarette and Ella shoveled cheese puffs into her mouth.

            “Yes I did,” Cindy said smiling. “It’s a Korean five dollar piece, the bartender said that it’s a rather new coin and it’s very strange to find them over here.”

            “Awesome!” Ella said licking her fingers. “I finally have a coin that’s actually worth something.”

            “However, sweetie, I do have some bad news about it.”

 

            “I can’t believe that you lost it, Cindy!”

            “I didn’t lose it Ella,” Cindy corrected staring at the floor. “I spent it, on accident.”

            Ella sighed loudly and fell into her mother’s fluffy sofa. “It doesn’t even look like anything other coin you could have possibly had in your wallet.”

            “It actually looked a lot like a quarter,” Cindy replied taking a seat in an arm chair opposite of Ella.

            “It had an Asian guy on it. All you were supposed to do was ask the bartender at work what country it was from. I can’t believe you Cindy, you promised!”

            “I know, I know, I’ll get you a new one.”

            “Where are you going to find a Korean five dollar piece?” Janice asked from the screen door, blowing smoke outside, and sipping a Coors Light between inhales.

            “Korea,” Ella said.

            “I’m not going to Korea to get you a five dollar coin.”

            “You promised me you wouldn’t lose it, and you went and spent it Cindy, you owe me a new Korean coin. I’m just going to be mad at you until you get me a new one.”

 

            Every week for years the four of women assembled for the weekly card nights. Cindy would bring the cheese puffs and a new foreign coin for Ella: one week a nickel from the Bahamas, another week an old French franc from Cindy’s own trip to France when she graduated college. At Ella’s wedding she gave her a Brazilian five dollar piece. But Ella could never fully forgive Cindy for losing the coin. Ella joked about Cindy’s upcoming trip to Asia every time she saw her, a trip Cindy’s husband got mad about the first time he heard Ella mention it.

“Why would my wife be going to Korea without telling me?” Cindy’s husband would yell from the Janice’s basement on Saturday night. The women laughed and ate their cheese puffs.

It became some what of a joke as time passed, to everyone except Ella. Then, in the blink of an eye, Cindy got too old to take a twenty hour flight to Korea. Ella and her mother’s friends watched as Ella got married and her children grow up and started collecting things.

 “Don’t let Cindy get a hold of that, Molly, you’ll never see it again,” Ella laughed when her youngest showed her a foreign coin she found at school one day. Ella never really let go of the fact that Cindy lost that stupid coin; and even though she joked about it, she was always a little bit angry at her for it. Even when Cindy got cancer and slowly drained away Ella could never really forgive her. It was a stupid thing to be mad at someone about, but she was upset nonetheless.

 

As the three of women stood around Cindy’s hospital bed on the last day of her life, Cindy pointed to the side table. Janice opened it and pulled out two objects: one, a small box the size a necklace would come in, and in the other, a deck of cards. “I’ll save a place for you at my table,” was written on the box of cards. Cindy took one last breath, holding onto Stephanie and Janice as Ella stood at the foot of the bed holding the other box. The nurses rushed it as the buzzers sounded. Stephanie turned to her daughter, standing there, at the end of the bed, peering into the little box. A flood of tears rolled down her face. She let them fall off and wet her shirt and hit the floor.  Ella brushed her mother’s arm and showed her and Janice a coin, slightly smaller than a quarter with a little Asian man on it.

 

Ok my friends Sunday, September 28, 2008

Filed under: life update — Deanna C. @ 9:50 pm
Tags: , , ,

So…

Spitballs is unofficially over. I will work on it more in November. Not adding anything just revising the crap out if it to make it pretty and happy sounding, with fewer run on sentences and maybe more other things.

But you have offically read the first draft of my first really big writing project!

 

I have one more short story to post in the month of September, it’s pretty cool I think, I hope you’ll like it. It’s kind of less depressing than Spitballs.

 

THEN it’s October. And October is official emo kid month! So I’m going to be emo, which honestly isn’t that hard to do. Almost every day in October I will be posting murder stories,  Emo poems, maybe some murder poems, and really depressing stories. BUT! I may need the help of my two devoted readers!

It would be wicked Jokes if you would give me ideas on Poem/ story topics. I have a good one for the first of October and a killer (pun intended) story for the second. But I may call on you for cool ideas/ people to kill. It’s also really cool to have a prompt that isn’t out of a book or your head, and to kill people that aren’t 17 year old boys.

So two devoted readers. I would LOVE your help!

As always DFTBA

DeCoolz

 

It ends Tonight! Sunday, September 28, 2008

Filed under: Story — Deanna C. @ 3:13 pm
Tags: , , , , ,

I’m pretty sure this is where I’m ending it. Unless my two devoted readers want more. Cuz that is totally ok, cuz I’m kind of in love with this story.

 

enjoy!

DeCoolz

 

VII

            It was a Sunday, two weeks later, Christi had yet to leave the hospital, but Quinn had to go back to school. Kevin had been in a coma for six days. The doctors had brought him back to live twice after his heart stopped.

            Mr. and Mrs. O’Connor had been approached by Kevin’s medical team; they had to decide how much longer they were going to let him live like this, how many more times they wanted to revive him. After a few days of crying and Christi pleading to save him, they made the hardest decision they would ever have to make in their lives, the next time Kevin’s heart stopped would be the last time.

            Christi wouldn’t leave his room, even to eat, after that. She slept in an arm chair; she bribed the nurses to let her shower at the hospital; all the things her parents should have been doing, but what kind of parents let their son drink in the abandoned house across the street at age twelve, or start to smoke two years later; what kind of parents lets their son be eaten by guilt about his friends death until he signed papers to get himself killed fighting for a reason no one understood anymore.

            It bothered her more and more that their parents spent so little time with Kevin. Every breath he drew could be the last, but as always, Mr. and Mrs. O’Connor cared more about their jobs and making money than they ever did about their children. Christi should have been used to it, all the years she and Kevin had spent waiting for their parents to come home, but she never would.  

            Quinn had called everyday to check on Kevin, but more to see how Christi was dealing with. Quinn knew Christi was barely living for a long time after Jesse. She couldn’t imagine what would happen if she lost her twin brother too.

 

            Christi was sleeping as deeply as one could in a hospital arm chair, when she heard something that jumped her out of the chaotic dream that had filled her brain.

            “Where’d Jesse go?” the gravely voice of her brother called. “Jesse?” he sat up slowly, searching the room.

            “Kevin,” Christi screeched quietly. “It’s Christi; can you hear me? Do you know where you are?”

            “I’m at the hospital, Christi-Anne” he answered, he hadn’t called her Christi-Anne in a very long time. He tried to look around her for a person that was never going to be there. “Jesse was just here. I saw him.”

            “Jesse’s been gone a long time, he’s not here,” Christi seemed more confused than Kevin did.

            “Yes he is, of course he’s here, why wouldn’t Jesse see me in the hospital?”

            “Does you head hurt, or you’re ears, I really don’t think you should be sitting up, I’m going to get the night nurse,” as she started to walk away, Kevin grabbed her.

            “You’re not going anywhere until you tell me where Jesse is.” Kevin’s deep green eyes met Christi’s, her fear echoed back at her.  

            Christi wasn’t really sure what to say. She’d never had to explain to someone that Jesse was dead before, or how his death had come about. Everyone she talked to knew that he was dead.

            “Kevin, Jesse died four years ago.” Christi pulled her hand away from him. “He’s not here because, he can’t be.” Christi took two small steps away from Kevin’s bed, not certain how he would react. He tried to process the information but it was too much for someone so injured to understand.

            “I just saw him, Christi-Anne,” Kevin looked around her again, straining his neck, “I just saw him, you were sitting together, right there.” He pointed to the chair the Christi had been sitting in. “You were sleeping, and he was watching you. You’re head was on his shoulder, just like it always was, since we were little. Then I blinked and he was gone, just like that. Did he go get food or something? He can’t be dead Christi-Anne I just saw him.”

            The tears welled up in Christi’s eyes. “No, he’s dead Kevin; he died when we were in high school.”

            “No, I’ve seen him so many times since then, at graduation, in the back of the crowd while I was talking, in North Carolina making sure I did everything I had to, in Iraq, the day the convoy exploded. He saved me that day, Christi-Anne. Jesse saved me from dying. He pulled me out of the fire. It was him, in that stupid blue plaid shirt that you loved.”

            “You had a pretty serve head injury, Kev,” Christi pleaded, slowly backing for the door, secretly hoping that the night nurse would see her, or hear her and come in. “Jesse wasn’t here, we were at his funeral, we were their when he died.” Kevin simply shook his head in disbelief.

            She left the room to get the night nurse, she wasn’t at her station. She searched the halls looking for anyone. The dark halls were all empty, the rooms were empty. It appeared that Christi and Kevin were the only ones in the entire hospital.  

            As she reached the front doors, screaming for someone to come check on Kevin, that he was finally awake, that he could hear, and speak, he just wanted his dead friend, Christi awoke the nightmare to the buzzing noise of Kevin’s monitors.

           

 

It’s not over… Saturday, September 27, 2008

Filed under: Story — Deanna C. @ 6:06 pm
Tags: , , , ,

Yeah… so… there will be at least one more part. Hopefully one. This one was getting really long, and a weird amount of time passed which, for this story at least, didn’t fit with the other parts, so there will be 1 more part. Tonight, maybe tomorrow, most likely tonight.

 

enjoy and leave happy comments.

 

DeCoolz

 

VI

 

            It was a Tuesday, three years later. Quinn was the vice president of the Business Club, and was at last surrounded by people who appreciated how smart she was. She never had to sit alone at lunch, even if she ate that lunch in the library, she’d even found a boyfriend, something she never thought she ever would.  

Christi was in her first year at the University of New Hampshire, studying psychology, and loving every minute of it. She tried to talk to Quinn as often as she could but it was nearly impossible to do, except on AIM once or twice a week between homework and club meetings. She believed deeply that something really truly good had come out of Jesse’s Whitman’s death.

Kevin was on his second tour of duty, he wrote to his sister once a week, and even to Quinn a couple of times. Just to let them know that he was okay, and that he knew he had done the right thing. To the girls, it sounded more like he was convincing himself he was in the right place, than making sure they knew it. Kevin still blamed himself everyday for what happened in that attic. He had to, it was the only way he could stand in the desert everyday and fight a war he didn’t believe in anymore.

 

Quinn sat on her bed, half watching CNN, half procrastinating by watching random you tube videos, so she didn’t have to work on her big semester project in foreign trades, it was an easy enough project, she just really didn’t want to do it. Her roommate, Charlotte, was coloring in the periodic table on the floor for some big chemistry project. Quinn wasn’t really paying attention to anything until Charlotte threw and eraser at her.

“Quinn,” she said as the pink rectangle bounced off her arm. “You’re from Kurtwood right?”

Quinn nodded; she had an actual poster of Kurtwood New Hampshire on her side of the room, and had all three years she roomed with Charlotte.

  “Do you know that guy then?” she pointed at the television screen. The picture of a Marine that looked far too much like Kevin O’Connor stared back at her.

“Turn in it up,” Quinn demanded, slamming her lap top shut.

“…Was found last week in the remains of a car bombing.” The woman on the screen said.

Quinn searched her covers for her cell phone, then her desk. “Where the fuck is it.” She yelled. Charlotte just watched.

“I guess you do know him?”

“That is Christi’s twin brother, and if anything happened to him, she’ll need me,” Quinn answered, finding her phone in the bottom drawer of her desk. She wondered why on Earth she would have ever put her phone in that drawer as she scrolled through the names. She never realized she knew so many people with “B” names before. The three rings before Christi answered seemed to go for years. “Christi!” Quinn whispered, out of breath for some reason, the moment Christi has started speaking.

“I saw on the news, and Kevin’s face, and I haven’t gotten a letter in like six months, what’s going on?

“What?” Christi laughed, “Use sentences Quinn. What was on the news?”

“Kevin, with remains of a car bomb related to him.” Quinn couldn’t understand why Christi wasn’t even a little bit freaking out. Was it possible that she had lost the ability to be upset after Jesse? It seemed unlikely, Kevin was her twin brother. Twins had some kind of magical powers; they knew when something bad happened to the other one. At least, that’s what Quinn always saw in the movies.

“Quinn, I talked to him last week on a satellite phone, he’s fine.”

“The CNN lady said the bomb was last week, I missed the beginning, but she said ‘found in the wreckage of a car bomb.’”

“Let me call my mom,” Christi said, her voice a little shaky, they can’t say things like that on TV unless they contact the family, I think.”

            “Call me when you find out anything,” Quinn demanded, the girls hung up simultaneously. Charlotte just stared at the pale version of her roommate; Quinn stared at the commercial on the screen, hoping that they would replay the story, hoping that it was someone that looked just like Kevin. But Charlotte had called her attention to the news because the anchorwoman had said “Kurtwood New Hampshire.”

 

            After the longest hour of both her and Charlotte’s lives, Quinn’s phone rang. Half way through the first ring it was against her ear. Charlotte watched her roommates face looking for a sign of any kind as to what was going on over the wires between Durham and Hanover. Quinn, over her years of practice had gotten amazingly good at now showing how she was feeling on her face. She just stared blankly at the Harry Potter behind the television.

            “Alright,” Quinn said, eyes glazed. “I’ll be home tonight. I’d come now but I have a huge Finance tomorrow morning.” Her eyes met Charlotte’s. “I’ll see you around five-ish. You’re house or at your dorm? Alright Christi, tomorrow.” Quinn closed her phone.

           

            It was a Friday, the next day, when Quinn saw Christi outside her dorm room. Christi didn’t have a car, so she needed Quinn to drive her to Boston.

            The grey speckled walls and steel window sills surrounded them as they waited in the lobby at the bottom of the escalators.

            Christi grabbed Quinn’s arm and pointed. There on the second floor was a man, a tall man with deep emerald green eyes in a marine uniform, sitting uncomfortably in a wheelchair, waiting. Christi screeched something that sort of sounded like him name, but with the noise around them it was clear he didn’t hear her. A woman in a matching outfit to wheelchair bound man came up behind him, and backed into the elevator.

Christi dragged Quinn to the golden doors, they opened sooner that Quinn expected. The blonde man looked up at his sister like he’d never seen her before.

“Kevin,” she whispered.

“You’re his sister?” the woman asked, Christi nodded. “Then they told you.”

“Yea, but I was hoping.” Christi took his hand; the same glazed look crossed his face.

“Maybe in a few weeks, but right now he still can’t even hear, the blast was right next to him, he’s lucky to have escaped with the injuries he did.” The woman said. She looked to Quinn, who stood frozen; there was else nothing she could do.

 

Kevin, Christi had explained to her the day before on the phone, and on the ride down to the airport, was in the car behind the one that exploded. He had damaged his ears so badly he would never hear again. His own vehicle was flipped by the blast, a piece of it had lodged into his head, the part right in the middle of the back, the target area, luckily he was wearing a helmet, so it didn’t kill him, but he hadn’t spoken or looked like he knew anyone around him for two weeks now.

The O’Connors made arrangements for Kevin to come home through the Marines. In all likelihood Kevin would end up dying from his brain injury, and his parents wanted to be close to him if they could.

Christi had been hoping out loud for two days that he would see her and everything would be okay.

 

reasons there Spitballs will end tomorrow Saturday, September 27, 2008

1.) since 1:58 this afternoon I have been watching the vlogbrothers videos on youtube, and forgot to eat dinner, and now I’m really tired.

2. I super glued my cellphone shut.

3.) Itunes ate accio deathly hallows. (which if you don’t know what it is google it RIGHT NOW!) best song ever

4.) I’m too tired now. so I’ll do it in the morning.

5.) My cell phone rang in meader’s class. My ringtone is “Fred and George” by Harry and the Potters.

and that’s it

DFTBA

DeCoolz

 

Spitballs part cinco! Thursday, September 25, 2008

Filed under: Story — Deanna C. @ 8:31 pm
Tags: , , , , ,

Part 5 of 6. Please enjoy and leave comments, I enjoy comments. ALSO tell you friends about this, make them read it and leave comments 2! I will be a happy day for everyone!

 

DeCoolz

 

V.

            It was a Friday, the last Friday of high school, Quinn had missed being Valedictorian by a tenth a point, and salutatorian by a fifth, but Eric McLawson and Kyle Stephens were more than worthy of their titles. She would be heading the Dartmouth in the fall to study business. Christi had let her hair grow back its natural color and was just past her shoulders underneath her graduation cap, she was excited to be heading off to the community college until she raised the GPA high enough to get into the State school in few years. She had plans to become a grief counselor for teens, because she could never find anyone to help her with deal with what happened to Jesse. Kevin had ruined his chances at any kind of college long before Jesse’s death, but he had plans for himself, big plans.

            Their whole lives had built up to this point, the closing stages of high school, their first taste of freedom, the first time they couldn’t say: “see you tomorrow” to their friends and know that they really would, the last time they would all be together.

            Quinn sat in the front row, along with the rest of the honor society, Christi sat just over Quinn’s right shoulder, and Kevin in the back because he was the one of the tallest of their class.

Everyone had voted at their final class meeting, the week before graduation preparations stared, that they would leave on chair open, the one between Kevin O’Connor and Caitlyn Logan, for Jesse. No one was really sure if Jesse would have actually graduated with their class, or if he had enough credits, if he would even walk, but they wanted to make sure that Jesse would be remembered. Angela and Nicole suggested that Jesse’s name be placed in program, but that idea was stopped by the school board. They claimed only people actually graduating could be in the program. It didn’t matter how many letters the class wrote to them complaining about it, the most Jesse Whitman would get was a seat in the back row of the risen stage.

The ceremony was a normal one for the most part, the regular address from the Principal, the class president, and the salutatorian. It was for the key note speaker that the Kurtwood High Class of 2004 chose to go in an unconventional way. The first half of they year the class officers searched for someone who could represent their class the way they wanted to be. Would a teacher be able to say what their high school lives had been like? A community leader? A famous author? No one came to mind, so they decided to go with someone who had lived their experiences, who walked with them through the same halls, felt their pain, and knew their life stories. The officers of the class of 2004 choose Kevin O’Connor to represent their class.

As he stood there, Quinn, and the rest of the class waited in anxious anticipation. No one had heard his speech yet, not even Christi. His sister had, however, told Quinn that he has spent a large amount of time at the Main Street Cemetery lately.  

   Kevin drew a deep breath and tapped the microphone that everyone already knew was working. He smiled out to the parents and teachers in the crowd. If he was nervous no one could tell. He stood up there like he’d been doing it his whole life, eyes fixed to somewhere in the back of the crowd.

“Good Evening,” He started his voice clear, yet slightly gravely, the effects of smoking since he was fourteen. “I’m Kevin Theodore O’Connor, and last April, I killed my best friend.” An awkward gasp passed through the crowd, through the parents that didn’t know what happened, who hadn’t heard the rumors. “I didn’t shove Jesse out that window, but I was the main reason he jumped. And for the rest of my life, I will have to deal with the fact that the only person I have ever truly cared about, died because I dared him to do it. If I hadn’t handed him his last beer, if I hadn’t insisted on going to that house, Jesse would be sitting in that empty seat back there, and I would be sitting next to him, most likely throwing spitballs at the Keynote speaker, or making fun of the girls in front of us. However, Jesse isn’t here, and that is my fault.

“But, in such tragedy, there is always something everyone can take out of it. For many of my classmates, it was learning how unpredictable life is, few, if anyone, sitting on the stage behind me had someone they know die. My sister, Christi, took a possible career out of it. Jesse got her to make something of herself. And I’m sure Jesse would love to know that he did that.

“I knew Jesse Whitman better than anyone ever did. I know that he would never want me to sit around and dwell on what could have been. If anything he would want to make sure that I really did something, did something so big that no one ever would think Kevin O’Connor would be capable of doing it.” Kevin turned and looked at his sister, spoke directly to her has he continued. “This is why two week from today I’m going to North Carolina, I’ve joined the armed forces, and in less than a year I will be overseas fighting for our country.”

He waited, eyes locked with his twin sister, hoping for a reaction he was never going to get. “I know that if it was me that had died that Friday night, Jesse would be doing something no one could understand. But I need to do something that restores my faith in myself. I can’t keep looking at what happened a life time ago.” Kevin still stared into his sister’s hardened eyes; she would never understand his choices. She had given up on trying to a long time before. “We graduate today,” he continued, turning back to the crowd before him, “we leave behind the person we thought we were. I left a former self in the attic of the McMullen house, the part of me that most of my classmates will be shedding in the next few years. Most of you will discover your true selves in the hallways of whichever school you attend in the fall. I never planned on going to college. I decided along time ago that I knew who I was. I was Kevin O’Connor, sidekick of Jesse Whitman, professional jack-asses. And I lost everything in a split second. The last year for me, will be the next four for you.  I guess what I’ve been trying to say to all of you, my classmates, my peers, the people I’ve grown up with since we were six years old, spent 180 days a year with for twelve years, is that I hope you all can find what you’re looking for. Jesse helped me find a purpose. Hopefully you won’t have to watch your best friend fly to find what you really want to do.”

Kevin quickly walked back to his seat; a slow, but steady applause grew through the seated students. Most of the parents had no idea what had just happened, it took a few seconds for them to realize Kevin wasn’t standing at the microphone before they started to clap as well. Christi reached back to Kevin, taking his hand. “You didn’t need Jesse to find out who you were. Jesse needed you to be someone.”

“We were two halves of a whole, Christi-Anne,” he said, silent tears gathering in the corners of his eyes. “I have to find a way to be a person. This is my only way.”

“There are better ways than killing yourself,” she said, “That’s all you’re doing Kevin, going to Iraq to kill yourself.”  The she turned back around.

Kevin looked over at the empty seat beside him, the piece of computer paper with “Jesse Whitman” scrawled across it, a wallet size photo from freshman year taped to it. He took in a deep breath and let the tears roll. Throw the water he could have sworn he could see the boy in the photo grin a twisted evil smile.

 

PART IV! Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Filed under: Story — Deanna C. @ 7:11 pm
Tags: , ,

There is definatly going to be 6 parts. Here’s part 4. enjoy and leave comments!!!!!

 

DeCoolz

 

 

IV

It was Thursday, the following Thursday, when Kurtwood high was let out early, for the first time, for the funeral of one of their students.

All morning, all week in fact, the only thing the teachers talked about was how much life Jesse had in front him, that there was so much he hadn’t done, how much potential he had.

“I hope his untimely death makes every one of you realize just how quickly life can escape us,” Mrs. Alban droned during one of her lectures. “Hopefully it won’t take another tragedy like this to make young people to understand they’re not invincible.”

Christi couldn’t bring herself to stay at school for a whole day yet, but no one really expected her to. Kevin had never let anyone know how much he hurt. No one besides Christi and Quinn knew what really happened, how guilty Kevin had to feel. He had to believe that Jesse would be standing there next to him, making fun of everyone if he hadn’t dared him to jump out the window that night.

 

Christi had to be held up by Kevin, and Quinn stood directly behind them in the Main Street Cemetery, a surreal moment to anyone who happened by, who didn’t know who was being laid to rest that day.

Most of the hushed whisperings all week in the halls had been if Quinn would go, if Quinn would stand there over Jesse’s body and be happy that he was dead. There was no way that anyone could have been happy that someone was dead, even if that someone had terrorized them for nearly all their life. Quinn knew in her own weird way, she’d miss Jesse.

The day itself seemed unfitting for a funeral, especially one of such a young person. The sun was the warmest it had been so far that year. The first day of the spring it hadn’t even threatened rain. Every single student of Kurtwood High attended Jesse’s funeral. Many of their teachers had spoken at the church. It seemed to Quinn that most of the people there didn’t even know Jesse, but they, for some reason no one could explain, wanted to be there, needed to be there; had to see what happens when someone dies.

After the service Quinn and Christi sat together on the stone wall facing the road. Kevin had wondered off to go smoke out of the prying eyes.

“He loved you,” Christi whispered, so only Quinn would hear her. “I hope you know that. Jesse always loved you.”

“That makes no sense Christi.”

“Of course it does,” she smiled, looking somewhere beyond Quinn into the rows of graves stones. “That’s the reason they picked on you so bad. Jesse had a cute little thing for you since we were in elementary school. He talked about you all the time. Jesse wanted nothing more than for you to react to what he did, and it bothered him so bad that you rarely did. He never wanted to be a bully or whatever it was that people made him out to be. Jesse just wanted you to notice him.” It seemed to pain her to say his name, but she couldn’t stop herself. It was the memory of a person that kept them alive after their body was gone, and Christi wasn’t going to let that memory die.           

“You have to be making this up Christi, there is no way…” Quinn started, but Kevin cut her off.

“Since were in like second grade,” he said, letting the last bit of smoke exit through his nostrils. “I wouldn’t have believed it either, if he hadn’t he told me. I think that’s why he started going with Christi, to get close to you. Jesse did very few things that made much sense, and I’m sure if it was anyone else lying over there, he’d be right here with us telling you everything.” He turned away from the girls, looking toward the same area Christi was staring at; somewhere off in the distance, away from Jesse and all the other mourners. Quinn was sure she heard him sniff in tears.     

 

Spitballs Part III Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Filed under: Story — Deanna C. @ 9:29 pm
Tags: , , , ,

I’m overly motivated today. So here it is. enjoy!

 

III

It was a Monday toward the end their junior year, Quinn sat in the back corner of her homeroom class. Christi had dropped out of cheerleading the year before, and cut her gorgeous blonde hair to right below her ears and dyed it various shades of blue, purple and black. She had started to date Jesse in March. Kevin had managed to fail out of the honors classes that he was in, but Jesse had made it into Mr. Fredricks English class with Quinn first period, although he very rarely showed.

So it was no surprise that day when Jesses wasn’t in class for attendance, but it was, however, when Mr. Fredricks didn’t even call his name.

“I know he’s not here,” Angela questioned “but aren’t you still supposed to call his name anyway?”

Mr. Fredricks looked around the room; he was barely twenty-five he didn’t know how to deal with things like this. Not single student in the class has any idea how hard the next three minutes would be for Mr. Fredricks, or for any of them.

“Jesse,” he started, walking around the front of his desk to sit upon the stack of student essays he had piled there. “Jesse Whitman… Jesse” He couldn’t find the words. But Quinn and everyone else had a feeling they knew what was coming. Her heart started to form a hard lump in her throat before her teacher could get the words out.

“Jesse died on Friday night.”

The air in the room was suddenly sucked out. No one moved, no one drew a breath. Never before had one of their peers, someone they had known basically their whole lives, died. This was a town of five thousand; people didn’t die in a town that small, teenagers only died in big cities with crime rates and stuff like that. No one died in Kurtwood, not unless they were old or sick. Jesse Whitman was seventeen and healthy.

            Although Quinn hadn’t talked to Christi since freshman year, she knew Christi would need her more that anything now. Quinn raised her hand and asked to be excused. Her peers stared at her as she walked, eyes full of tears, out of the classroom. She’d seen Kevin’s old green Ford pick-up in the parking lot when she got to school that day, so Christi had to be somewhere in the walls of Kurtwood high. 

            Quinn checked all the places she normally hid from the world, the main bathrooms, the janitor’s closet, the upstairs of the library where no one ever went, but no Christi. It was as she passed the back entrance to the locker rooms, that she heard the muffled cry of a grief stricken teenage girl, a sound she knew all to well.

            With her tiny hands she opened the lock and slid into the room, hoping no one would see her. Quietly she drifted to stall that Christi had locked herself in, the light blue Converse Chuck Taylor All-Stars that had a broken heart drawn in black sharpie on the toe was dead give away.

            “Christi,” she whispered in the sweetest voice she could, although it would never be anything like a bell. “Christi, are you in here?”

            “Quinn?” a gasping voice answered, more surprised than upset. “How the hell did you find me?” Christi unlocked the door and stepped out. She was wearing one of Jesse’s blue plaid t-shirts, and jeans with holes in the knees. Her dark blue eyeliner was running down her face.   

“I know all the good hiding places,” Quinn said, it made Christi smile a little bit, then cry a whole lot more. Quinn moved a few steps closer and took Christi into her arms. Christi didn’t have too many tears left, but what there was, now stained Quinn’s light pink blouse.

“It shouldn’t have happened, Quinn,” Christi gasped. “None of it. I never should have started to date him; I never should have let him go to that stupid abandoned house.”

“You were hanging out at the McMullen place?” Quinn questioned, looking at the blonde roots of Christi’s blue/ purple hair.

“Yea, well Jesse and Kevin. That’s where they’ve hung out since we were kids.”

“That place is haunted,” Quinn said, immediately realizing how stupid it must have sounded.

“I think that was part of the appeal, you know them as well as I do,” Christi pushed herself away from Quinn and sat down on the broken wooden bench behind them. “They only took me up there twice ever. Once when were still in middle school, like sixth grade, Halloween weekend. Jesse hid in one of the upstairs bedrooms and scared the shit out of me. The second time was Friday night.”

Quinn just sat there, listening the way that Christi had so many times before, just hearing the things that Kevin and Jesse had done, the horrible things.

“Kevin dared him to jump out the attic window,” she looked away, toward the tiny window near the ceiling, too high for anyone to open, too dirty to see through. “The window that faces the back yard has huge posts underneath it, like there was a garden there back when the McMullens lived there. Those big green things, like road signs kind of.”

“Oh,” was the only thing that Quinn could manage to say.

“Well, Kev had been trying to get Jesse to jump out the side yard window for years, but Jesse never would. But Friday, we’d been drinking. That’s basically all the McMullen place is used for. Jesse was pretty trashed so when Kev brought it up again, Jesse was all over it. I should have stopped him, Quinn. I should have stopped the whole thing. Jesse was just showing off for me. Trying to show his girlfriend how brave he was. Another one of those stupid things that boys do I guess.” She placed her head on Quinn’s shoulder. They sat there in the silence, wondering if anyone would find them, wondering if anything would be different if pinky promises were kept.

 

 

 

 

David’s new song Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Filed under: life update — Deanna C. @ 5:03 pm
Tags: , ,

So I think you may have gotten from the fact that I said David Cook touched me 15 times after I went to the American Idol concert, that I LOVE David Cook.

Maybe I’ll take a picture of my room to prove how much I love said David (who touched me btw)

anyway In class today I got an text from him, because I’m that person that gets text messages from the offical David Cook website, that his new song is on the internet!!!!!!!!!!!!

So when I got out of class, I pretty much ran to my room while on the phone with Jen, and then Ethan (who is my computer) decided that I was not allowed to listen to David Cook’s new song. Stupid Ethan.

But Lucas saved the day, and let me listen to it in his room.

If you would like to hear it go to: http://www.popeater.com/music/article/exclusive-david-cook-turns-the-light-on/185647

 

And Spitballs part III is coming. But David Cook wins in the what’s most important to Deanna department.